Sometimes I’d wish that they’d just divorce. Just chuck it up as an overall bad decision and go their separate ways. She was desperate for financial security and he needed a lighter-skinned woman to make him feel better about his darker complexion.  Both married for selfish reasons.

I guess it was wishful thinking on my part, because it never came to past.  I was disappointed that they tolerated each other. Unordinary for most kids, I was tired of them, married though…lets make that clear.  I mean most children want to see their parents together. Forever.  Not me. Not if I had to endure another round of hostile lectures on why and what and how could you and who the fuck is she.

I wanted to see them happy. An emotion they never found the other responsible for. Unless she was thanking him for another fur coat to keep her kept, or he was happy to not get questioned for his many indiscretions.  I’d never seen them kiss or even hug.  They just co-existed. All I saw and heard was arguing.  It was in the walls, chipped away at floor tiles, and waited for peaceful silence to disrupt it.

I would imagine them one day duking it out, old western style. Then challenge each other to a duel and take each other out of their misery. I know, seems wild to think that way. But I was always deeply offended, by their selfish desire to bear a child, that would never witness the two people she loved, love each other.

Now, that’s wild.


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