How to know if it’s really real, when he says you’re the one…or, if you’re just moving too fast…or all of the above.

“Girl, I tagged him.”

“You what?!!”

“You heard me, I TAGGED his name.  Remember that picture we took when we went to the beach last weekend, that I showed you?”


“Well, I posted it!! Girl and I got folks hitting the LOVE button!!!”

“Does he know?”

“No I don’t think so, but he will.  Why do you sound like that…I mean…he posed…he put his arms around ME.”

“I don’t know girl…”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I mean…which social media did you post it on?”



“Wait a minute…so now we can’t tag the guys we’re dating on—”


“Why not?!”

“Because…it sends the wrong message…you don’t want him thinking you’re desperate or you’re trying to move the relationship, too fast!”

“Oh my God. It is not that serious!”

“You need to take it down.”

“I ain’t taking shit down.  He posed for that picture…again, he put his arms around ME!  He certainly didn’t care that all the people at the beach saw us!”

“Okay, but that’s a different kind of public. Those people at the beach don’t even know y’all.  Shit….they were probably on their own phones, not even paying attention.”

“Hold on…” alerted to another call coming in…it’s him. “This is him, on the other line.”

“Girl take it do—”

Cutting her off, while rolling her eyes she clicks over, and immediately her voice changes, inflection and all. “Hey babe.”

“Yo…ummm…what’s up?”

“Nothing…whatchu doing?”

“Look…ummm….I saw the post you just put up.”

“Yeah…we look like Jay and Bey huh?”

“About that…ummm….don’t you think we need to take a slower pace letting the world know about us?”

“Huh…I didn’t know the world was watching.”

“You know what I mean.  Social media is so invasive and people will start making us be more than what we are.  Like I’m already getting inbox messages from ex’es, girls from college, co-workers, my mom, family and folks congratulating me…like…”

“Oh wow…I didn’t think anything of it.  We had a great day that day and I was just sharing it ya know.”

“Yeah, I know...Listen, I know you weren’t thinking about the impact of the post.  I know you’re really into US being a couple and -”

“So wait… you’re not?? That’s not what you said later that night after the beach.” Flashbacks of their lovemaking made her warm in her seat for a moment.

“I know…but….you know…I just want to pump the breaks a little and…you know…make sure this is the right timing.”

“Hol’up, hol’up, hol’up! You mean to tell me, taggin you in a pic where you even posed, arms around me, kissing my neck…makes you this uncomfortable?  So when I took the pic, you were expecting me to…I don’t know, print the picture at CVS and put it in a photo album?”

“No…but I would rather you did that than post it on Facebook!!! How do you know I’m not dating anyone else???”


“I mean we spend a lot of time together….but I still have conversations with other women.”

Numbing silence fills the space.

She ponders.

He waits.

Ladies, this is the most powerful moment for either him or her.  Either the woman finds her footing to round-house kick her way out of relationship purgatory, or she deflates…embracing humiliation and numbs her needs to compromise all the know-better, just so she can maintain his being in her life.


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